Two short thoughts and two jokes:

 ** The person who pursues revenge should dig two graves.
          -- English Proverb 

 
**  Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions
     than salt water has on thirst.
          -- Walter Weckler

****

Bad Diet

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Miami, Florida. "The material

we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here.

Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is

loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes

the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and we all
have, or will, eat it. Would anyone care to guess what food causes the most
grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, a small 75-year-old man in the front
row, raised his hand and said, "Wedding Cake?"

****

Baptist dog

A Baptist preacher and his wife decided they needed a dog.
Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must
also be Baptist.

They visited an expensive kennel and explained their needs
to the manager, who assured them he had just the dog for
them. The dog was produced and the manager said, "Fetch
the Bible."

The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books,
located the Bible, and brought it to the manager. The manager
then said "Find Psalms 23". The dog, showing marvelous
dexterity with his paws, leafed thru the Bible, found the correct
passage, and pointed to it with his paw. Duly impressed, the
couple purchased the dog.

That evening a group of parishioners came to visit. The preacher
and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate
several Bible verses. The visitors were amazed. Finally, one
man asked, "Can he do normal dog tricks too?"

"Let's see" said the preacher. Pointing his finger at the dog, he
commanded "Heel!" The dog immediately jumped up on a chair,
placed one paw on the preacher's forehead and began to howl.
The preacher turned to his wife and exclaimed "Good grief,
we've bought a Pentecostal dog!"